Patience is a Virtue

Geez, the adoption process is the best yoga one can do! Talk about practice in non-attachment, not being in control, patience, etc. This is the most discipline I've ever had to have. More than ever, I appreciate the support of family and friends and our extended adoptive families support. I know they have made it to the other side and understand the struggles. I hope that I can one day return the favor of an ear to listen and good counsel and support.

On the good front, we continue to hear such awesome reports on the babyhouse in Karaganda and from folks who have adopted toddlers which we may find ourselves doing. So these positive nuggets of info help me to move on with a positive attitude or as much as possible.

Christmas Time is Here

We're spending Christmas week @ Figure Eight Island with my family. Although we are having a great time, I must confess I had hoped we would be in Kaz at this time. Hopefully in January! It has been over two years since we began this process - feels like an eternity! I am ever grateful to the WPA families who offer words of encouragement and good advice for us. I hope I can be as helpful one day when we are on the otherside of the fence!

Little Bed

Found a toddler bed on Craig's list and picked it up tonight. Its so tiny - looks like a doll bed on steroids. But it feels less strange than when the crib came along. That must be a good sign!

Asheville GetAway

Pat and I are doing our bi-annual Asheville thing. Funny to think that next time we come, we'll have a little person and our regular to-dos will change a bit. I am actually looking so forward to that. But for now, its fun for the two of us!

We did find out that we will be adopting from Karaganda and are very excited about that! We've heard so many good things, its a larger city so more to do in all that time we are not with the baby - all the feedback has been terrific. Now, we just wait for the invite. I hope its soon. My patience is wearing thin. Pat is handling differently but he too is a bit stressed.

Thinking of names and looking at a Toddler Bed off Craig's list on Sunday. I am anxious to know more about our little one so that I can really sort the room out, get out stuff in order, etc.

People @ World Partners / International Adoption Guides adoption have been amazing. And the "alumni" family have been such a support. I really did not think the waiting would be so hard and that I would be asking for so much advice, but I know now that I will continue to do so.

Still Waiting

Okay. Today was hard. Feeling anxious and unsettled. Hard to do anything - study, read, etc. I officially have no finger nails and have eaten everything I can find in our house. As someone who rarely has a drink, I had 3 whiskey drink concoctions at Judy Murray's house warming last night. Geesh. Not the way to go. Upstairs to meditate and do something positive for myself.

I hope we get our invitation soon! The family ahead of us at World Parnters/International Adoption Guides left November 12th for Astana. They got the call and left 2 weeks later. I hope ours comes soon!

On a positive note - our immigration paperwork is updated and good through 2011. Seem like everytime we got it back as of late, it had a mistake. Wrong dates, wrong country, etc. We have a few gaps in our dossier but nothing that will not be taken care of in a timely fashion. And importantly, we have really warm coats for our trips. Went ahead and made the investment as it will be in the negatives there - nothing like good old NC winter.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Calgon, take me away. My patience is getting thinner by the day. It's hard to think of anything else really. Had a nice lunch with a friend of a friend today who adopted a 4 year old beautiful girl from Ukraine. Its always good and bad to talk to people. They are good sources of information but there is always a little something there that puts a bit more fear in you. But it is good to go in with your eyes wide open because you are NOT in control. I repeat - you are NOT in control. Our agency only has two families in country now including us. The other family has an invitation to travel to Astana and they were a few weeks ahead of us with their dossier. Of course, going to Astana moves you forward a bit as you have to be open to referral with no photos but medical records. We decided to wait for which means will be our turn to visit somewhere in the middle of no where - yee haw! In sub-Siberian negative degree weather, no less. If Patrick and I can get through this, we can get through it all. He is being very patient and kind, but I'm sure his time to freak out is soon!

Our coordinator Janet Ball is a dear friend and a great shoulder to lean on. I have been sad, mad and glad and she has been supportive and understanding of every emotion. I know she will be a friend for life.

Pat and I both know that what is meant to happen will and all will be as it should. Just hard to trust, relax and breathe easy.

More KAZ Changes

Okay, so I'm a really bad blogger. Its been 8 months. I think if I wrote something everyday I would just obsess and be impatient. That being said........ we continue to wait. Our dossier was finally sent to Kaz in July (after the loooooooooooong wait due to new procedures and only one dossier per agency going to the Consulate in NYC per month as compared to the 10+ they used to send). We understand that we are literally in the air via fedex somewhere on the way to Kaz. WPA said we may go as soon as this year which is really freaking us out. We had April -June 2010 in our heads. Its been something we talk about and that always seems so far away - but perhaps by this Christmas- aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Calgon, take me away. We haven't set up a nursery, talked to Human Resources, picked baby names, etc. We haven't done anything. Its suddenly becoming real.

Of course, we are nervous. We tell ourselves we are too old, question if we ready, blah, blah, blah, blah. Again, I think back to all I read about feelings you would experience during this process. I shrugged those off and I can honestly say that the adoption books and our agency were spot on. I thought once the dossier went, I would relax. People said the waiting is the worst part. Not me - I'll be just fine. But I am growing impatient, frustrated and worried that something will happen to prevent the dream. We want a family and to become parents.

Of course, we got another bit of bad news this week. New laws in Kaz' parliment coming down the pipeline. Black cloud over us, perhaps? Age requirements changing and number of visits to country increasing. If passed, we may have to accept an older child and take more trips during a longer period of time to complete the adoption process. You feel like you are being tested to see if you'll just hang in there. Sometimes I feel that God is giving me training in being patient so I'll be a good Mom! We are hanging in there. The reality is that Kaz is trying hard to keep kids in their country and to help Kaz families keep their kids and/or adopt through new services. You have to salute them for that. But you also have to feel for the many many children who are going to stay in institutional homes if they are not adopted.

Guess its time to do the prep. We can be told in a really short amount of time that we have a invitation to travel, that we need to get on a plane in 2 weeks, etc. So we need to get our act together. Time to pick up the crib from Aunt Denise in Charlotte and start getting those used clothes, toys, car seats, etc from friends and family.

Is this really happening? So surreal!