Baby Steps

Waiting, waiting, waiting. One baby step forward. Our immigration paperwork came back yesterday with the change in country from Kazakhstan to Ethiopia. So that is at least something.

I went to get a massage tonight from the daughter of a friend and she said something to me that ironically had been on my mind. She asked if all the waiting changed the desire. And it does not but the wait does make you feel like its not going to happen, thus you put your back up. I think I naively thought that we would get our referral lickety split. We were at the front of the list and it would be maybe a week or two. We are now on day 31 and going into week 5. Sigh. I have in my head that the max is six weeks but that is silly too.

And then the worry about the referral. We had 3 referrals to Kazakstan and I don't think that would happen to us here but sometimes I feel like we have a black cloud over our heads.

Must remain positive.

Sandy Pants Knows

I don't care what my husband says. Cats are smart. Ever since we began putting the nursery together - around September - Sandy Pants has known something is up. Of course, we started so early with the nursery as we thought we would be going to Kazakhstan by end of year. I must admit it has been hard to have it set up for so long now ....with the waiting and all.

Okay back to Sandy P. Every time something new comes in to the room - a bathtub, some clothes -- she is quick to inspect it all. Perhaps because so much of it is used from friends or Craig's List - it must smell like babies.

And of course, she has already tried to sleep in the crib which put Pat over the edge. Even when I promise it won't happen when the little person comes, he still panics. Rightfully so, as "The Pants" is one tough cookie. This week I got an adorable quilt from IKEA for the toddler bed and although I have stuff on it so Pants won't sleep on it, she found a small space and is determined to hang out there. There are sofas and other beds to spread out on, but she is hell-bent on staying in this room. She thinks she is the baby and is staking her claim.

I know she is in for a rude awakening and I don't look forward to that part of the transition. Need to look up some kitty kat adjustment info online. Prepare myself, Pat, the little person and Pants for the future.

Rumors and more Rumors

Okay so it turned out that the 2 trips to Ethiopia and having to attend court turned out to be a rumor. Glad part of my weekly drama has been dismissed. So, thus far, we only have to worry about the investigation part. Not worry, really, but wait. So excited that I get to meet little Mica Khalifa who has been home for less than a week. He has no idea how awesome his life is going to be with his new parents and vice versa! Getting anxious to lay my eyes on our little person for the first time.

I found out I got accepted in the MSW program for the fall. Just have to figure out how I can juggle all of this. Definitely going to take another class first session summer school so fall would be a very light load. But being a Mom is my top priority.

Wait, wait..........there's more

Well another day and another email. Looks like Ethiopia is not just longer, but is now going to be a two trip adoption with potentially a big chunk of time between court date and embassy date. Parents are now required to attend court and then come back for Embassy Date. As our agency said, this is not wanted news but not bad. The mere fact that they are responding this way means it is unlikely we will see the country closing for adoption but means timelines are longer and children have to wait longer to be with their new family. More practice in patience and faith. But it is all very much out of our control. So there you have it.

Immigration continues

Okay, so sent another updated copy of our Home Study to immigration. I am so happy that the folks @ Frank Adoption are nice and accommodating. Hopefully, the turn around will be quick and our paperwork will finally reflect Ethiopia instead of Kazakhstan. Still bummed about the State Department posting, but really not in my control. Went to function last night and saw many folks I had not seen in awhile. So, of course, they all asked about our adoption and "aren't you supposed to have already been to Kazakhstan?" Its hard to explain this quickly and without sounding like a complete flake!

We are just trying to remain positive and not worry about what might happen in Ethiopia as no one really knows, but its hard to beleive that the Embassy can investigate 1800 cases per year. Not sure how that one is going to work. Guess we'll have to see.

Hurry Up and Wait

A couple of set backs recently. Immigration wrote us back and said before they can change our country status, we need to have our home study more strongly state they recommend us. Hopefully, that can be remedied quickly, but still another tiny hurdle.

Then, on Friday, the State Department posted that not some but all orphan petitions need to be investigated which will add weeks and potentially months to everyone's wait. I feel like Pat and I are bad luck to whatever country process we join. Once we sign up, everything changes and becomes more difficult.

But that is selfish. This is a change meant to protect children and families so I should embrace that and see it as more yoga practice - building my patience, faith and contentment. By contentment, I mean learning to be present in each day instead of thinking of it as a part of a long grueling process. So much beauty and wonder in front of me everyday that I miss while being consumed by the "when, when, when?"

But the man who is ignorant and without faith and always doubting goes to ruin. Not this world nor the world beyond nor happiness is for the doubting soul. Bhagavad Gita

On a lighter subject, I bought a pink crib set on Craig's list this weekend. While I have seen some great stuff I love, I am kind of committed to creating a sweet nursery on a small footprint or buying gently used stuff. So far, the rug is the only piece that is new. I think it looks sweet -perfect for our little girl.

So strange to think that any day now we could get our referral. Trying to contain myself! And then the real practice in patience will begin, when we wait, and perhaps wait some more, for our court and travel dates.

Thanks to my peeps who are sending positive thoughts my way. I really appreciate it.

Let it Go

Okay, you hear about all the questions people ask you when you do this. This week, it just kind of pushed me over the edge. "Maybe you'll get pregnant, have you thought about in-vitro, are you worried about raising a black child and the best "I wish I could find you a baby." So I won't go far with this post as it will just put me in a angry or disappointed space. A part of me wishes we wouldn't have shared as much information as we have with our friends and family, but its done. And I know folks mean well. Just another hurdle in the adoption journey - like the books tell you and you somehow think you will be immune. Onward.